From All Bad Comes Good

Me Roshi From All Bad Comes Good One of the RR Reflective Repatterning Laws of Opposites.

For many this may be a difficult concept to take on, yet it works both ways to. From all good comes bad.

Let me explain, everything in the universe has it’s opposite, light and dark, up and down, moving and still, fast and slow , good and bad, heavy and light, matter and anti matter, liquid and solid, dead and alive, hot and cold and so forth. None of these exist without the other. Opposites keep us and the world we live in, in balance.

If the world had only experienced good, we probably would just equate that with okay, but when we compare good to bad it makes good even better and bad worse. If in a good world it was so good purer than white that nobody ever lied, then a small lie like a child saying “Mummy I have tied my laces”, when he clearly hadn’t perhaps would be classed as the greatest sin in the land of only good, and would perhaps in their world warrant a very severe punishment. For all of our sake’s it is a very good job in that case that we have a balance of evil and very bad, because it makes the small thing of a bad lie, just a small lie, with probably a good intention. The very fact we have the extremes of good and evil make anything in between somewhere on the scale of very good, okay, and bad and very bad and evil. These opposites are like magnets and they all attract.

Magnets have a north and an opposite south pole, there are no magnets without the opposite poles, on these magnets you can be very north somewhat north half way between north and south, south and far south. Where there is a north there is always a south and vice versa. The magnetic energy runs from one end to the other.

Emotions have an electrical field, ask any acupuncture therapist and energy psychologist this, and with any electrical field there is always a magnetic field again more opposites. An electrical field draws electrons (electrical flow ) inward and a magnetic field draws electrons outwards , quantum physics experts talk of this expanding and contracting the universe, (perhaps possibly maybe).

So let us explore some emotional opposites happiness and sadness, anger and joy, shame and pride. These are generalised so do think of your own opposites.

Value opposites might be freedom versus trapped, honesty versus dishonesty, kindness versus selfishness to name but a few.

The emotions and values we love will have opposite emotions and values we hate, you see love makes hate, just as magnetically hate makes love, there is always one with the other.

You are a magnet, you generate thoughts and emotions, thoughts attract what we are thinking good bad and mixed, sometimes we think of someone we do not put too much emotion to it and they call us or we see them, or we think of a certain car and we see them everywhere. Emotions are the opposite of thoughts and react differently in fact in an opposite way. What we emotionally want we push away, have you ever noticed how emotionally needy people push the very people away they are needy of. Yup this is like two magnets of both the same north pole or same south pole they repel each  other, they are emotionally needy of the others emotions, thus they repel. Many relationships end because of this.

You may notice top business people like Donald Trump Alan Sugar Carly Fiorina , to them business is business a contract is a contract it’s all about the money, and they don’t employ someone because they need a job “aww that’s nice” they employ them because they can do the job well. Their thoughts and intention and logic will attract good business, if they emotionally needed money because they feared debt or would end their trapped feelings etc they would attract debt more debt less business.

Wherever their is an emotion there will be a thought and vice versa, even if you are unaware, it will be there and will eventually surface as the magnetic energy goes from  one to the other.

Wherever there is an electrical field there is a magnetic field, one draws in the other pushes out. Opposites are everywhere.

So From all bad comes good , we have all heard about the sheer evil of Adolf Hitler he killed millions of Jews, because of that they got their own country Israel, politicians of the west created the country, yet bad came from that, land was stolen from Palestine and it caused major disruption in the Middle East. From here extremes of good coming from bad and bad coming from  good. World war two saw most of Europe in conflict as it ended many countries formed the Europena Union and those that did haven’t fought since, yet it created a large political largely unaccountable non democratic government, again from bad came good followed by bad. History see’s this everywhere in different intensities.

So what about our own personal lives, we may suffer a very bad time in our lives, yet it will  be followed eventually by a very good time, we go from very bad to less bad to okay to good and very good. Internally our thoughts and emotions affect others and the world externally, we are like tuning forks resonating with what is going on in and around us to those that we are closest too physically and emotionally by interaction and also connecting by thought. Sometimes people feel others are thinking of them, thought connects          people and things like a super highway. A bad day when bad things happen externally may trigger internally bad thoughts feelings, Princess Diana dying affected so many people that didn’t even warm to her the resonance was huge, same with other celebrities but also natural disasters too.

When a bad time happens it’s time to think that in the near future this bad time will magnetically attract and bring in a good time, magnets work like that and you are a magnet. Yet when a good time happens we must do the opposite and focus in the present and just enjoy it make the most out of it. A thought can repel another thought , an emotion can repel another emotion, yet even these we can play with magnetically by using opposite emotions and opposite thoughts

Magnets contain opposite polarities, the opposite of a polarity is neutrality an unconditional nice flow feeling whether good or bad happens, there is no neutrality without polarity, and vice versa. To have only neutrality wouldn’t help for survival, we wouldn’t cry as a baby when we needed food or feel bad in danger, Emotions and feelings help create thoughts, yet as we learn by these our feelings do not have to be so strong, logically we know to get food, not step over the edge of the cliff, or marry a serial killer. Negative thoughts and feelings will protect us from negative things, yet we don’t want to be negative about good things and vice versa of course.

Reflective Repatterning RR is an energetic treatment that treats and balances thoughts and emotions and balances polarities and neutrality, where you need it the most, this internal balancing brings an external balanc e and those around you and those that you thn of instantaneously benefit from this too. You do not have a button on the person you may want to change to change the, yet you do have the power in you to change yourself which changes the resonance of those that you connect with.

RR can help you magnetically repel what you don’t want and attract what you do want. We aim to lessen intense emotional neediness and rigid thoughts, with good intentions and logic of what we do want, with just enough good feeling to feel it’s right.

You may contact chris Milbank via the contact page on this website.

Grammar and spelling is n ot my strong point so either reject or accept lol xx

 

 

 

Reflective Repatterning Laws of Opposites In Depth

The Laws Of Opposites and Treating with Reflective Repatterning (RR)

First let me introduce myself. I am Chris Milbank, the Founder and discoverer of Reflective Repatterning (RR). RR is an emotional and psychological treatment, which is proven to be at least eighteen times more effective than its nearest rivals. My journey began when I sought solutions after a lifetime of serious illness and huge emotional problems. I was working at my father’s garage, and I wondered why a car would come in with faults and we could usually diagnose the cause and fix the symptom. Yet thousands of our annual customers were coming back, year after year, with the same physical and psychological problems, which were often worsening after being treated with an ever increasing array of pharmaceutical drugs with side effects. It dawned on me that perhaps these corporations – who were spending trillions doing 96% of all medical research – had a fantastic business model and monopoly, which was “don’t treat causes – just symptoms and then they can have customers buying their drugs for lifetimes”. Was this really so or was I imagining.

I was Interested to learn if there was an alternative to ineffective drugs with side effects, so I enrolled on an eight week course to study Hypnotherapy. I then spent eighteen months studying Reiki and Karuna healing. After this, I studied Hypnotherapy in more detail and then Counselling and advanced Hypnotherepeutic procedures with Psychological Perspectives. I was amazed at the impact on health that genuine stress reduction could help with. I then studied other psychological models such as Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma and anxiety relief. I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and learnt how to achieve excellence in all aspects of life. I then trained in areas of Energy Psychology, which involves working with acupuncture points to release emotional and psychological blocks. I even had my life saved by this method when it reversed an anaphylactic shock to peanuts. I studied under the developer of Thought Field Therapy (TFT) – Dr Roger Callahan, and obtained the highest level of skills possible by training personally with Dr Callahan. I became the President of the World Wide Association of Thought Field Therapy (ATFT), and taught and researched TFT all over the world. I continued studying other healing techniques, including breathing, body awareness and movement, body and fascia release techniques and many, many more.

I achieved world class results with these skills, but always knew there was so much missing; what I hadn’t thought of was the way the new alternative psychological treatment methods were being used. These new techniques that were so, so effective in comparison to traditional psychological and psychotherapeutic treatment, were still being used within the belief systems and frameworks that the forefathers of Psychology had bestowed on us. These beliefs were that we should treat people to feel less negative about something bad. Indeed, this had often given many some temporary help and relief of their traumas, fears and the emotional hurdles they were facing. This is where this story begins.
RR Opposites and The greatest Discovery in the complete field of Psychology.

Each day, I would walk my dog, Ben, down to the rock pools at a local beach, have a splash with him and whilst he went off fishing, I would treat something – anything in fact – with my favourite energy psychology tool (Tapas Acupressure Technique or TAT for short). I would think of something and use TAT to reduce some emotional excess in a way of thinking. On this particular day I wondered what was left to treat. My mind wandered out to the clear blue ocean and momentarily, I was lost at sea when I was startled by my inner voice shouting at me that I hated love. I was astonished, but realised that a part of me really did not like love; we’ve all been hurt before and my hurt was showing. So I held the various energetic release points (TAT) and closed my eyes, while repeating continuously that I hated love.

An enormous welling up of emotion began, until I felt like a nuclear bomb ready to explode; I was astonished that my head was still in one piece as the TAT hold released this emotion. I felt fantastic – better than I had for years. I walked home with a huge skip in my step and my heart felt warm. By lunchtime the following day, I was feeling a bit down and had no reason for it, and over the next few days I felt myself dipping into very low states. I had not connected my beach treatment to how I now felt, and was trying to lift myself to the best of my knowledge, but all I was doing was slowing down my decline. In order to lose my state of mind I buried myself into more research on the computer.
I Googled “Left and Right Brain anxiety treatments” (a particular interest of mine), and immediately found myself within a website, not looking at a list of search results as you would expect when using a search engine – how could that happen? The website really shocked me – it was The Church Of Satan. I immediately went to hit the escape button, but curiosity made me read the first few lines. It read something like this “We don’t believe in the Devil and neither do we believe in the man-made stories of God that have been used to divide and rule people for reasons of greed and power for thousands of years”. I then pressed escape and immediately thought “oh they are not as bad as they are supposed to be”. I went back to my left and right brain research again and this time ended up in a Christian Site. Shocked that this could happen twice, I read the first few lines which condemned people’s sexuality and contraception in a way that showed contempt and some hatred of people and their ways of living their life. I again used my favourite escape button and couldn’t help but think how the supposedly good guys were not as good as I had been led to believe and the bad guys weren’t as bad, either.

Now having had enough of the computer as I wasn’t getting anywhere, I opted for some tea and TV for half an hour. I turned on the TV and on came a channel that I had never watched. Rather bemused, I sat down and watched a documentary just starting on Euro News, which was about how the European Space Agency was spending hundreds of millions of euros on the power of the energy of darkness. My jaw dropped as energy healers use light. My mind wandered back to the websites I had just read and how I figured that the so-called “bad, evil people” were not as bad as I was led to believe, and how the so-called “good people” were not nearly as good as I was led to believe, either.

I recalled an occasion when Tapas Fleming (the developer of TAT, or Tapas Acupressure Technique), showed the Yin/Yang symbol, which is used by alternative health professionals to indicating -balance of male and female energies – and commented on it that it was really out of balance, if it were in balance it would be neither black or white just a circle.

My mind suddenly got busy with opposites: good and bad/evil, light and dark, male and female, and I thought about how I had treated the negativity of love by using TAT on “I hate love”, until I no longer hated it. I suddenly thought I need to treat “I love Love”, and resumed the TAT energetic holding position, closed my eyes and used my internal chattering voice to keep repeating “I love Love”. Then, this huge emotion welled up inside me, getting bigger and bigger – again like another nuclear bomb – and then it just dissolved. The TAT hold had released the energy. My terribly low feelings vanished instantly. I felt great, in fact better than ever in the whole of my life up to that point. Exhausted, I slept, and dreamt. Hundreds of dreams swept through me night after night – images of good and bad, dark and light, male and female, quick and slow. My dreams were so, so, so busy for the next three months, constantly feeding me with information.

Later on, I was back in the UK, teaching a five day advanced energy psychology course in Coventry. It was the last day, and the health professionals I was teaching were spending the day putting into practice what I had taught them, so I was not too busy, standing by to answer questions or offer help if necessary. While I was standing by, I remembered how I had treated the negatives around love, then the resistance to myself loving love, and how these opposites were so powerful. Love, many would argue, is the most powerful emotion of all. Many would also agree that Hate is the opposite of love. I focused on my favourite value, which had always been freedom.

In fact, I had no idea at that time how much freedom ran my life: every year I was flying more than fifty times, arriving in new places, new countries, and it hadn’t occurred to me that, deserts, mountains, oceans, jungles, forests were my way of seeking freedom. I had no idea at this time how my lack of freedom was continuously driving me to seek freedom. I thought of the opposite of freedom, which for me was being trapped. It was easier for me to treat “I hate being trapped” first. When I thought of being trapped, I saw myself in a prison cell in handcuffs, being forced to do lots of paper work. I kept repeating “I hate being trapped” and a huge welling up of emotion appeared, and then I yawned it all out.

I next treated “I loved being trapped” and as you can imagine, I had huge reserves of resistance to loving such a terrible plight. But again, the resistance grew and grew and the emotions welled enormously – and then whoosh – it disappeared. As that happened, I could see the handcuffs grow so big my that hands could go in or out of them freely, whether the cuffs were locked or not. The prison cell door had disappeared and I could choose whether or not to do the paperwork.

So, next I needed to treat the opposite of trapped, the big one: freedom. It felt easier to first apply “I Love being free” in the TAT energetic hold. I did this and healed some resistance, then applied the wording “I hate being free”, which at first made me feel a bit sick. This feeling soon settled, and all of a sudden I felt free in my own shoes for the first time ever. From that moment on, I have just about felt free wherever I have been, and I now fly approximately twenty times annually for work and pleasure. This treatment, which I later called Reflective Repatterning, or RR, had changed my life forever. What I have described is only a part treatment – it’s less than one fifth of the basic framework I regularly use with my clients today. I have now developed over thirty different RR frameworks and treatments and will explain more about the frameworks later. I will first explain more about opposites: how to diagnose with opposites, the laws of opposites and RR, how these laws run our lives and how they attract what we do and don’t want.
Opposites Attract

Many of us experimented at school with magnets and iron filings, noting how the iron filings spread out, which showed the magnetic field. Some of us will also remember that magnets have poles that are opposite: magnetic north and south. When two magnets are placed with their ends north to south or south to north, they attract and hold tight. When two magnets are placed north to north, or south to south, they repel.
Emotion steals electrons from the body and reduces voltage. This creates a magnetic field of resistance – ie low voltage. Higher voltage – which is interestingly measured in minus voltage for the human body – of up to approximately 50 millivolts (a millivolt is a thousandth of a volt) is the ideal voltage for a healthy cell. A cancerous cell may appear at minus 15 millivolts. Emotion is polarity: there is a positive emotion polarity and a negative emotion polarity. When we really like something, we will really dislike it’s opposite. For example, if you love honesty then you will hate dishonesty. Another example is that if you love freedom then you will hate being trapped. These likes and dislikes, loves and hates correspond to polarity.

If we remember that polarity binds energy, we have energy which is stuck in either positive or negative voltage – ie good or bad. This energy/emotion binds in the body and will be outside of the cells healthy voltage range. At minus 50 millivolts a cell has good electron supply, ie a good energy flow, creating an alkaline balance state, which increases oxygenation – this is fundamental for good health. What are the implications of this for our health? As long as we love something and or hate something we have polarity and polarity binds energy. The magnetic polarity we have when we tune our thoughts and or feelings towards something is already starting to attract the opposite. Remember the north and south poles on a magnet, north will repel north, but attract south.

What Can we learn from opposites.

Just by listening to someone, we can apply the basic laws of opposites and begin to understand how they are running that person’s life. For instance, if somebody moaned that they hated their children lying, you can bet that person obviously loves truth. This will either be because this person had experienced lying in a bad way, or they were bought up very positively around telling the truth. Either way, an emotional polarity has developed at one end that equally charges the opposite magnetic pole. Somebody who loves love and loving will actually hate hate and hating. Those that love integrity will hate a lack of integrity. Remember what we think is opposite for us may not be the opposite for somebody else though.

The More Polarity We Have The Weaker our Health and power.

Where does emotion come from? Well, mostly from our values and beliefs conflicting, but also from other areas like moral and cultural expectations. Suppose someone who loves manners and politeness gets treated rather ill-manneredly and rudely in a restaurant – the two opposite values were attracted together and a conflict happens within the person. The person will feel some sort of negative emotional response ie anger, frustration, irritated etc. If the problem/conflict is not resolved, then the emotion is bound together within the person and held there. This cycle repeats and the emotion/energy builds up and becomes labelled as emotional stress.

This stress energy breaks out of the invisible wiring circuits in the body (which we call meridians), and the body stores this energy into muscles, organs, tissues, cells etc. Have you ever seen two dogs fight, then shake themselves off under a tree to rid the excess stress that induces adrenalin and cortisol? We humans might do the equivalent to try and lower this energy, maybe dancing or exercising, but essentially if the conflict of values is not addressed it rebuilds and rebuilds. Eventually this becomes anxiety. This anxiety, if it’s not addressed physically and at source – ie the original cause, the conflict – builds into excessive and or obsessive thinking, addictions and tics and eventually panic attacks.

If this heightened level of anxiety is not addressed, and or the original polarity conflicts, then it starts to become depression. With true depression, we feel nothing and our minds and bodies shut down; we have no energy and we lie in bed in darkness. Eventually this tranquilises us temporarily and we try and think positively and avoid the polarities we disliked as much as possible. In our example from the restaurant, if the person avoids rudeness and bad manners, they will have a small lift, but eventually something will happen to feed the whole cycle and it will run over and over again and again, binding more energy. By this time, we have a pool of destructive binding energies stored in our body; energies of depression, anxiety and stress. The good news is that, in RR, we have tools to completely neutralise these energies and of course their opposites. However to only do that would be a mistake, as the conflicts would still be there and in time they would again build up.

Polarities, as you are probably beginning to understand, not only weaken us, but they also restrict what we can and will do, versus what we can’t and won’t do. For instance, most polite people will agree that it’s good sometimes to be a bit rude if someone won’t take no for an answer. Being more abrupt or blunt or forceful can be a life saver – we don’t want to be polite to a stalker as they will just keep on stalking. A rude person who loves being rude will also agree, that at times, if they had been polite it would have been beneficial to them.

Neutralising the polarities of your conflicting values (ie love and hate, like and dislike), not only increases your health at a cellular level, but also increases your personal power, which creates freedom, choice and flexibility. No longer can someone rude have such a negative personal impact on you by making you change emotional states and decreasing health. Likewise if you then needed to be rude again you would not cause yourself any stress by breaching your own personal values. Opposites are a brilliant way of diagnosing how to improve personal freedom choice and flexibility and make a great impact on health.

Emotions and Polarities

So, I have now talked a little about how value conflicts build into emotional states and how they then build into what I call the big three. These are stress, anxiety and depression or variations of these three. Traditionally, there are many methods to work with depression and many are actually not that helpful. However, Energy Psychology in general has now helped millions through this dark state, but name me a therapy that not only clears the negative aspects of depression but also clears the resistance to loving it also. Depression is a safety valve – it makes us rest, hide away, regain our energy; it’s a natural healthy cycle through a traumatic period – it saves lives.

So we must lessen our resistance to depression (a polarity), as well as our dependence and dislike of it and other polarities. Now this is not enough, because for someone to clearly leave a depressed state, they must have an alternative state to enter. Each person can decide what the opposite of depression is for them, this might be joy, happiness, or peace etc. There will be parts of them that may not want to be happy, joyous or feel peaceful about something horrid and traumatic and for this reason they may well actually partly hate those positive states (a polarity). They may well also have parts of them that long for those positive states, but they will partly resist them as they may think it’s inappropriate, or that they are not ready or even that it’s not safe to be joyous in such dangerous or stressful times.

Again, all of these resistances are useful parts of us, but they begin to conflict and make even more polarities, which bind together even more emotional energies which builds up to the big three again. All too often, people in the energy psychology world treat the big emotions but never treat their opposites, and also miss the causes of conflict. The client gets relief, but has to keep going back. This doesn’t just affect clients – I know many therapists who energy tap their anger or stress every day because they haven’t learnt how to treat causes and opposites.

How To Measure How Your Own Life is Restricted

Quite simply write down your favourite five values. (If you are stuck, please see the Value sample page for ideas)

Now put your favourite values in order of importance to you, and then next to each one write down the opposite of each value, ie generousnes selfishness etc

Take a bit of time to put these in order and make some notes about how other people, or events or even yourself stresses yourself over these values. Also take into consideration someone else who does not hold your values with the same importance and who will not be so stressed, but will get stressed over things seemingly unimportant to you. How often do these conflicts affect you, what emotional responses do they trigger within you, how do they restrict you hold you or others back? Quite simply these opposite value conflicts bind emotional energy and restrict your life and your health.

In What Ways do I attract opposites and how does this affect me?

First let me correct some mistaken thinking in the Laws of Attraction and The Secret books, films etc. These state “You get what you focus on”, and to a certain degree this is true, but it begs the question why do so many fail given they are focussing on what they most want? The huge mistake that these philosophical thinkers have made is that they have not taken into account opposites.

Magnetically, if you really desire something, you have generated a highly charged magnetic pole, the opposite of which you have no desire for. For instance desire wealth, but not poverty and you will start to attract wealth, but as soon as feeling comes in you will attract the opposite. Thought without feeling has no polarity, and to just have the intention of having will work wonders; this intention works as a belief. There is an old saying “What The Thinker Thinks, The Prover proves”. What this means is that if you have a belief, your deeper mind or sub/unconscious mind will seek to show you again and again why your belief is correct, finding you endless examples. So the vast majority – probably 99% – who want to be wealthy at one end of the magnetic pole will at the other dislike or hate the idea of being poor.

So let’s do a quick experiment to explore this. Think of something you really desire, like wealth or great health, and close your eyes and take one to two minutes thinking of this. You will probably have some great feelings about this and also some inevitable self sabotage (which can easily be diagnosed and treated with RR as sabotage is about opposites). Now close your eyes and focus on having in abundance the opposite of what you really desire – ie if you desired to have good health or wealth, then think instead of having bad health or being in poverty. You will notice that you may feel some emotional negative response like anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, sadness etc and, your breathing will have either stilled, quickened or tightened somewhat. You may have experienced negative thought patterns which increased the intensity of the negative emotional responses. You may also have noticed that certain physical tensions may have surfaced in the physical body, too. So this experiment – for the vast majority of readers listeners and viewers – will conclusively show a huge magnetic pull at the opposite pole of your goal. So we have this push-me-pull-me, pantomime donkey like effect on our goals, whether they are conscious goals we are focusing in on, or deeper patterns buried in our unconscious minds databases.

Examples of How Opposites Affect Us

If we are really passionate about a value, or behaviour or an emotion, that passion or love or like will attract opposites in many ways. Here are some of the ways it will attract opposites; I will give more examples and meanings later on.

If a favoured value is ‘Trust’ and we want to be able to trust people, we will often attract people we cannot trust. These people will break our trust and this further charges our magnetic pole to want and desire trust even more, and thus hate and despise it’s opposite, which is mistrust, falseness, lying etc. Depending on how the person holds trust, it can also lead them to be untrusting, which really becomes a paradox they cannot escape from. The above argument holds true for all values, for instance, a love of ‘Honesty’ will attract dishonesty – again, either in others, events or even yourself.

Some people hold their desired values, or behaviours, more to themselves and attract themselves to do the opposite, ie someone who loves personal freedom may trap themselves in jobs, relationships, or anything which functions to trap them. Some people will desire other people, events, or personal freedoms and therefore will attract other people and or events that lead them to feel trapped or tied up with bureaucracy.
Some of us desire to teach or train people in their personal values or beliefs, and will keep attracting people who don’t want to hear or take on board the message. Some people want to receive a particular value from outside sources, ie functions, people, events, jobs etc and will again only attract the opposite from these outside sources.

Some people will want and desire all or some of the above and therefore attract opposites of some or all of the above.

Now, to a greater or lesser degree in our lives, we all have programming that we have had imprinted and are not aware of, and however these programmes are charged, we will of course be attracting opposites for example.

Consider two opposite personality types – internalisers and externalisers. Perhaps we are internalisers who don’t worry too much about our surroundings – that is, we’re a bit untidy, not into pretty clothes and appearances, food doesn’t have to look great, but on the inside the food has to taste good. As an internaliser, we need to feel good from the inside, and then the outside does not matter. An exaggerated example of this is being drunk at a party, and everything is spilled everywhere – you don’t care about the mess because you are super highly happy, but bit by bit as you sober up the next day, you are appalled by the mess, your internal state changes and therefore the external state is more important. Now, of course, the opposite of this kind of person is an externaliser, who needs their home to be just perfectly tidy and beautiful, with clothes, food etc perfectly tidy and beatiful, just to feel good on the inside.

An internaliser may well attract some unhappy externalisers, who demoralise them on the inside about their outside appearances and bring them down. Well, this means that they are not feeling good on the inside and their mess on the outside will then not be as bearable but they won’t be in much of a state to improve it. The externalisers may well attract internalisers who are quite happy with a mess, which would upset the externaliser, who will be getting very upset unless they can get out or radically tidy and beautify their surroundings.

Planners may often attract those that don’t plan and just go with the flow, and of course vice versa. An interesting example of this can often be found in the relationships of Life Coaches. I have personally treated many life coaches and found a high percentage of them to have these generalised patterns. During an energy psychology training, I was teaching a life coach who organised her day with what I perceived to be a supercharged list of things to do, complete with an exacting timetable of when each task should be done, ie what time she would arrive, leave, and when she would cook and so on. In contrast to this, her husband was just like a balloon drifting in the breeze; this of course suited neither individual, as their differences were so great. However it was one of the many opposite magnetic pull polarities that brought them together.
Once she was aware of these patterns in her life, we treated her opposites changing the energy flow. The couple’s relationship had got to the point where they were living seperate lives in the same house and were awaiting divorce. Upon her return from the training, the life coach noted immediate changes in her husband and he noticed immediate changes in her – she was less focused on planning and more open to flow, and he was less focused on flow and more open to planning. I have seen this time and time again, and the rule we can infer from this is that, if you want to change someone else, then you have to change your self. The very fact that you want to change someone means that you have a magnetic difference to that person; if you heal your difference then you are no longer attracting and supercharging the opposite pole.

This list can go on and on – for example, adventurers attract stay at homers, free libertarians may attract rules and boundaries and so forth. However, there are many even more interesting subtle and yet often even more powerful opposites we attract. Let’s take into consideration parents or guardians. If we have two parents of the opposite sex, then we have in this case male and female energies. It is relatively easier if both parents have fairly good rapport with both their male and female sides, and their good and bad sides, however this is extremely rare.

Suppose your Dad was particularly male. As a child, you would receive this energetically in both psychological and emotional ways, and you will store this energy and have an abundance of it, perhaps even an excess of it, depending on how male and how your Dad expressed it. As you have this in abundance, you will be able to express it, let a bit out and those that had no Dad or had a rather effeminate Dad could fill their tanks (ie body’s energies) with what you share out.

Now, if your Mum showed few feminine qualities and was more masculine you will have an even larger abundance of male energy. You will be seeking to fill your deficit of female energy; you will seek females to charge up your batteries of this all important energy. However, opposites attract and what really happens is quite amazing: you will keep attracting people that appear very masculine. They want to be masculine, and they want your masculine energy and they take it like a vampire and they surround you as friends, colleagues etc. They use this energy to fill their tanks and then give it out to others. These people collapse without the support of these energies, so you may find that these friends, colleagues, partners are quite needy of you.
However, in return, you are wanting female energies as neither your mum or dad in this example showed much female energy. You are wanting to show your female side and need female friends and colleagues to fill your female energy tank, so that you can express it when your friends move or go off for extended periods, as this is when your female or yin energies will lower until you run out of fuel and grind to a halt, and often become quite needy of these people and their energies in the process. Although you do your best to surround yourself with people of these female energies, you will not be able to help attracting the more masculine types: those that feed off of your excess male energy you are trying to download.
Now, there are so many possible variations of this, because our parents or guardians may be two females or two males or one male or one female; maybe we have a very effeminate father and a masculine mother, maybe the masculine energy in father was combined with a very good energy, expressed as caring, playing, being strong or maybe it was expressed as aggressive, violent male energy. Each of these carries an opposite. These parental/guardian factors drive our lives to such an extent that treating people for the good and bad male and female energies can be the biggest life changing experience for many people. A simple rule is whatever we have in excess, we try and give out the opposite of, and thus must attract people in our lives who we can fill with our tanks of this energy. Those that have a lack of the energy we have in excess, will find us and draw from us, thus we will try hard and attract who we need to survive and make them our friends we will work hard to keep, but naturally we will attract those around us that want to act in the way we do not and they will feed off us.
Advanced RR practitioners can take a small amount of information about a person or one or both of their parents, and can help diagnose huge areas of people’s lives. I like to sit in a bar and talk to a stranger, hear a little, and then make some comments about their life and their reaction is as if I am the biggest psychic on the planet. Quite often, with a few simple comments, huge areas of people’s lives can benefit just from understanding of these opposites and how they steer our lives and all aspects of it.
The Opposites of emotion versus logic and reason

The imbalance between logical, rational, reasoned thinkers and sensitive, emotional, feeling people, can be an extraordinary burden on both groups, and of course there are huge advantages and disadvantages in both groups. An example of this might be an emotionally sensitive person going through a financial crisis. They may mention to their more rational-reasoned thinking friend or partner, that they have no money for a week until they get paid. They have not asked for any assistance, often because they may feel that is too direct and they would feel as though they were begging for help or demanding help. As the food runs dry in their fridge and they have received no help, they may start to get cross or upset in some way that their friend has not offered or thought about their plight. The emotional thinker will – eventually, and only through desperation -say “I am starving, I have no food” and the logical thinker will then say, “oh do you want me to loan you some money or go shopping for you?”. All is then saved. However, the emotional person will be saying and thinking “Why didn’t they offer a week ago if they cared? I hinted emotionally enough”. The logical thinker will be thinking “why in the hell didn’t they just ask me instead of playing all these games and getting het up?”

Now, of course, this may be an exaggerated example, but these two types of thinking and behaving are very common. Of course, most of us have varying degrees of logical and emotional thinking, but we often use the wrong ones of course at the wrong times. There are those amongst us who are more extreme versions of this. The logical, rational person will be seen as insensitive, often uncaring when often that is not the case at all. The caring and emotionally sensitive person will make many decisions without any logic at all. Their only motivating factors are to not feel bad about someone, or something, including possibly making others feel bad. They most often make their life decisions this way, and in doing so, often don’t do themselves any favours and may well begin to feel sensitive and emotional about their plight and blame others. These others that they blame, may well be the more logical reasoned thinkers – the type who helped themselves first and perhaps were not too sensitive to other people’s problems.

Logical, reasoning types often like to solve problems and will do so in a logical way, providing not too much emotion is involved. These logical types will often be sought in times of financial and business solutions. However, when it comes to emotional solutions, they can be very helpful but often will not be considered so by an emotional person. Emotional people often find that logical thinkers are trying to solve problems that don’t exist, as emotionally charged thinkers dwell on the emotional aspects of the problems and seek emotional and diplomatic type solutions. The Logical thinkers will find the actual cause – ie lack of money, no security, a technical fault etc – the thing that can be fixed. The emotional thinker will often want to express their emotion even more than rationally solving the problem. The emotional person wants someone to say sorry for a problem or they will want to blame and often this is so charged and so important that it way outweighs the actual solution. A logical thinker will try and source the solution and try to resolve the issue without falling out or getting upset with anybody or anything. An emotional person may find the logical person befriending someone who was to blame for something, just so they can solve a problem. This is awful and disloyal and two faced to the emotional thinker, but to the logical thinker it solves a problem and they can move on.

As I mentioned earlier, both types of thinking are right and wrong. They are also critical for our survival, however we all need more flexibility. If we are already very upset, or very happy, our emotional responses to a problem or a decision will have already been greatly affected. The Media makes its money from advertising; this is why so many programmes and films exaggerate emotional scenes to gets our highs and lows going. Then when the adverts hit, we make far greater emotional responses. Note how advertising plays on our emotions, note also that research has shown at least 96% of all buying is emotionally led. If we were to stick to what we logically need to survive, the economy as we know it would crash.

[96% on medical research and advertising? what research was it, is it 96% on both??? ]

However, if this happened and the consumer led economy crashed, another economy would come through but would be very different; my guess is we would all be working less hours but have a lot less material things, but if we were not so emotional we would not be so dependent on our material goodies like computers, phones, cars, TVs, satellite TV etc. We wouldn’t have to have these to be happy and we wouldn’t have to work to buy them. Again I am not saying one is better than the other but media and indeed government, big business and so on does have us dwell more in proportion to emotional responses as its best for business. My own view of medical research is that 96% of it all is done by the drug corporations. who play on our fears that we must take their drugs in order to be or stay well, and see a drug trained doctor or not get well. Our logic should be telling us that billions and billions is spent on this research and our health is not improving. Instead, cancer is growing and so are most disease states – we are the unhealthiest creatures on the planet, but we fear not going to a doctor, and we fear the terror of cancer more than we see the logic of failed medical systems.

Let us further look at the majority of people’s eating patterns in westernised countries. If we were to use our logic and rational thinking, and buy food as an energy and nutrition source, knowing that what we eat becomes what we are, we would all choose to take time to eat a far larger amount of raw fresh fruits and vegetables, that are nutritious, full of energy, alkalising and non toxic. However, when over focusing on emotions we get into emotional eating of refined carbohydrates, sugars, caffeine and alcohol for instant highs that are like anaesthetic for our emotional pains. We drink very acidic, carbonated, caffeinated, sugary drinks and get addicted to them. We go to a takeaway to make ourselves feel good by filling ourselves with food which is full of fat and has been so processed that it has little nutrition and in the vast majority of cases causes toxic over load.

This emotional eating and drinking helps the medical business (don’t forget your fears about not taking the drugs the doctor orders). The vast majority of us have concerns for our health and yet emotionally choose unhealthy food and drinks, as these temporarily make us feel better. Of course this shows little logic. In fact, many people pride themselves on their poor diet, alcohol and nicotine intake. Emotionally, it is part of their social grouping and even though their logic may partly admire those that live a healthy eating and habitual lifestyle, they will often not warm to them. Just recently I met a German woman who is an ardent raw food fan, and is in fact fanatical. A piece of chocolate is a huge sin to her – her beliefs are very rigid. She lives alone and with a very strict regime she is an extremely logical reasoned person. However, I could feel her drain the energy away from those she was with as she was not fun. Her heart seemed reasonably empty of love and passion.

My point is we have the naughty things on the planet that we make. We are part of nature and we do make them; if you want to have some fun and feel the emotional swings that go with alcohol and drugs and so forth, then who is anybody to argue with that. And who is anybody to argue against it if you want to live a perfectly healthy lifestyle. However, most people get a bit trapped in one way or another. Balancing the opposites allows free flow to step into one polarity or the other and even be midway, party-detox-party-detox, or less party and less detox etc. Reflective Repatterning is never about saying one way is better or a practitioner knowing what is good for you. Instead it is about balancing the polarity differences and giving freedom, choice, and flexibility in how someone runs their life and how they, and how they sense themselves and their lives. Remember, that whatever you have been told about anything is just someone’s point of view; it may be passed down knowledge or experienced knowledge, but whatever it is, it is their conclusions. These conclusions are filtered by their beliefs, values, morals, and experiences powered by magnetic polarities they are carrying. We are less likely to believe people we dislike than those we like and we choose to like or dislike people and events by what our polarities are.

The Mathematical bit

To help make sense of all this scientifically, we would probably need a mathematician to fully analyse how we have attracted our children, loved ones, friends, family, work, and hobby colleagues and also to show how our workplace does and doesn’t work. Each and every event and person and place has it’s polarities, so even though I diagnose these patterns for businesses, people and situations, it can get a bit like an Einstein challenge at times. So, here is my E=mc2 which in hindsight is quite obvious and in relation to Einstein, makes me his opposite in comparison– perhaps the fictional character of Mr Bean or Charlie Chaplin – but here goes.

The opposite of an opposite is same
The opposite of same is opposite
The same as same is same
The same as opposite is opposite.

Now, of course, there are many couples, friends, families, businesses, countries, politics that share the same values. How can this be when opposites attract, how can two friends have such passion for a same sport or hobby – why don’t they repel each other? Aha, the answer quite simply is NO. The two friends or the couple that shares something of interest will have other opposites that will attract them together with a stronger pull magnetically than the repelling effect of two same.

However we often find that even within the same, there will be some magnetic pull –it might be that two people may like the same music for instance, but one may find the singers voice sexy and attractive and the other may find the sound of the drums exciting and stimulating. In a sport like football, one friend loves the passion of the crowd and another likes the contact or hit of the ball, the team effort, or solo shots of brilliance. So opposites and sames can be quite deceptive; remember what is the same as an opposite is an opposite. Ok, so as I said, we can put that over to the Einsteins, the mathematicians, and the scientists to untangle and argue and debate with. No doubt, and not surprisingly, their opinions will be very opposite in some aspects, some will be the same, whilst others will appear to be the same but will have smaller magnetic opposites not so noticeable that bring them together.

I do wonder if anything really is ever the same because, if they were exactly the same, they would be one and not a multiple. Oh, unless we talk about our physical body and soul but wouldn’t even they be classed as opposites, which kind of proves my calculation that the same as same is same – for instance I am the same only as me. One granite rock may share some similarities/sameness with another rock, but under a magnifying glass you will notice dimples in one where there are ridges in the other. Yes, there are similarities as well as differences – oh I think we are beginning to prove the equations from above. The very fact that I am doing this will attract an ardent opposer of this; this will be someone with an opposite polarity unless I neutralise my belief. Unless I know what the opposite polarity of all this is and neutralise it, otherwise I am likely to attract that too. So, I’m just guessing that I will have to wait until the opposite has been attracted and treat then.
[Or maybe, just maybe, the opposite already existed in man’s experienced ways of thinking, guided by religion and so called good and love and compassion etc as a one way of thinking versus man who likes evil, bad, hate, and being uncompassionate and my way of bringing both sides together to bring our full power and capabilities back to human kind. If Nature, God, Satan, Buddha, the Universe, whatever you believe didn’t what us to have this, then perhaps it wouldn’t give us access to it

[I’m not really sure what you mean there, is this any approximation? Are you referring to how without religion and the ten commandments we would be savages etc, ]
Or maybe, just maybe, the opposite already existed in man’s experienced ways of thinking, guided by religion. These two opposites: on the one hand, that man should be good, loving, compassionate and so on, versus untamed, natural man, who left to his own devices, would be a man who likes doing bad things, is uncompassionate, compared to my way of seeing good and bad in both good and bad, and bringing both sides together in order to bring our full power and capabilities back to human kind. If Nature, God, Satan, Buddha, the Universe, whatever you believe didn’t what us to have these abilities, then perhaps it wouldn’t give us access to them.
Let’s Try A Little Maths, Then: Oooooh Argh Oooh Polarity Neutrality

The opposite of an opposite is the same. Well, what is same? Well, perhaps there is another answer than the one above (remember we all have opposites), as opposites on one level as discussed are polarities. Can we go to the context of polarities and ask what is the opposite of a polarity? Well it is – I believe – Neutrality.
When we have Neutrality, we have free flow in thought and feeling. This feels like unconditional love. Unconditional love is not the excess we often feel when in Love with someone as this love is an energy of need. They have something we have a void of, and we need their energy to fill our tank and we don’t want to be without it for long and of course, vice versa, if they love us in return. Unconditional love is loving whatever they do or don’t do, whether they stay or go. Because our tank has enough of balanced energies, neither in excess or running on empty, neutrality allows us to feel good regarding war and peace, good and bad, love and hate. Neutrality is the state of flow that we hear the Tibetan Buddhist Monks and others seeking throughout their lives; perhaps achieving more than most but not fully, because their very discipline has a polarity difference of non-discipline.

So should we all want more neutrality? Well, on discovering RR (the way to make neutrality from opposites), I very much thought so and encouraged all my students to neutralise as much polarity as they could and they all had amazing adventures and successes changing so much in their lives. However it dawned on me one day that I was doing this because I didn’t like polarities. Polarities limit us, cause us to be trapped in ways of thinking and being and so forth. “My oh, oh my” I thought one day as I began to feel sensations of dislike in my body around the polarities. My love for neutrality had attracted my now dislike of polarity, which was further energising its opposite magnetic, pole and having me like and love neutrality even more, which in turn had me dislike polarity even more. You can see that the build-up of this energy is like perpetual motion (maybe scientists this could be a clue to creating free energy – is this what Tesla had in mind?).

So I of course now had a bigger challenge. I used RR to heal and neutralise the polarities of polarity and neutrality until they were the same. So what is the same as same? Well, erm, yes same; neutrality everywhere is the same. I do believe that one day, that scientists somewhere, may be able to measure it and no doubt find small opposites, even holding that together who knows. Once I healed the polarity differences between polarity and neutrality, it dawned on me that without polarity there could be no neutrality, you see, it was only by finding my loves and hates, my likes and dislikes, and healing them with RR that I was able to make neutrality. So, now my message is this: I equally enjoy the hate and dislike of polarity as it divides and makes emotional and physical conflict, as I love polarity as it makes neutrality an unconditional love.

So maybe this explains how the Opposite of same is Opposite, ie the opposite of neutralality (same) is polarity (difference). The same (neutrality) as same is (neutrality). The opposite of same (neutrality) is polarity (difference).

Neutrality (Same) Versus Polarity (Difference)

We live in a world of polarities, and some exciting differences or polarities, create new ways of thinking. If we all thought the same, and acted the same, we would all get the same results. On the one hand, if they are good results then that would be great. However, we also have the opposite of that: we do things and act and think in ways that are unhelpful. If we all acted like that, then it would be unhelpful, so polarity differences can help humankind and animal kind progress and even survive as well as regress and die. Maybe that is the all important balance of nature. Human kind has dominated all other species; we are top of the food chain – we have attracted that, but its opposite is that humankind kills more of humankind than any other creature does, or indeed to itself. Humans destruct vast natural resources whilst other creatures like bees and insects and birds help rebuild them.
We also live in a world of neutrality where all of us have some values, beliefs, or actions that we are far more neutral about, and we don’t really care one way or the other. The very fact that we have these – of course – attracts people on both sides that don’t like our neutral stance and a polarity is made by our very neutrality.

If we all had neutrality, then we may well find a lot more peace, less arguments, less conflict. Now, we may think that is wonderful and it may well be, but if we had unconditional love of other people killing each other, or allowing disease to spread, would we act in a way that would allow our species to grow? However, could humankind keep on growing and spreading and destroying vast natural resources, continue indefinitely? Perhaps the more we destroy, the more nature, or other people, come together to rebuild. We are seeing this already with the rise of the green parties and World Heritage, World Wildlife Organisations etc, and more and more environmental laws are beginning to protect what we have never before protected.

It seems to me that either one or the other, ie polarity and neutrality, has arguments for and against, and a balance of each is a neutrality to polarities and polarities to neutrality. Let me explain further: to either be in the polarity for group, or the neutrality for group, means that you will be in either the polarity against group or the neutrality against group. But how about using polarity where needed and using neutrality where needed? If you really need something ie food or water and you don’t have it, you may want to use anger and aggression to get it to survive, or charm and niceness so someone feels as though they want to offer you these survival goodies. If you had neutrality about having and not having your food and water would you actually get it?

However, if there is a conflict going on amongst others, and you use your niceness to one party and take sides, the other party will see you on some scale as the opposition or enemy – baddie even – and you may end up using your anger or aggression etc on them; it’s most often far better to have neutrality and only offer advice to both parties suggesting that they both have to do what is best for themselves first and not take sides. A good example of this is the Relationship Triangle mentioned so superbly by Michael Neil in his superb book You Can Have What You Want. He explains that in any conflict we are either the hero, villain or victim, and we will jump from one to the other forming this very strong structure – a triangle – and only by getting off the triangle do we end the conflict and create more neutrality.

A further example is this: years ago, two friends of mine had an argument. Both of them moaned about each other to me; both felt they were the victim in the conflict and the other was the causer/perpetrator ie the villain. I tried to be a hero and patch things up, saying something to one and something to the other. although my intentions were good I soon became the villain to one side for seemingly taking sides by being nice to them, the other side also saw me as the villain for suggesting something helpful to the other that was not helpful to them. I was now a villain to both parties and of course felt like a victim. Because of this, I needed a hero to lift me as I was now on the downside to two very good friends, so now another friend tried to support me and was hero to me and of course became villain then victim rather quickly. When I learnt to neither take the role as hero, peacemaker, victim, and villain and consciously step off the ever flowing relationship triangle, I hit more neutrality and the triangle conflict collapsed.
Years later, these same two friends who have many polarities ended up working together and of course differences sparked, both again turned to me as hero, I stayed with neutrality and always answered “you have to do what is best for you personally and financially and so forth and the other has to do the same, if that works for both of you and you can work like that together fine, but if you can’t work like that together it is also fine to not do so”. The problem was very quickly resolved and I believe both parties did rather well out of it, and I certainly did as I was neither hero victim or villain. So Neutrality can work well too.

Diagnosing Within Self

Here I will list a number of positive and negative values. First, tick the ones that are most important and the ones that you least like and then number them ie number 1 negative is your most disliked negative value in self or others and number 1 positive is your most favoured value in self and others. Have a go at ticking and numbering five or more in each list. Feel free to add in others that you think of. You may feel some of the positive values are negative and vice versa so just swap them in their lists if so.

Positive Negative Values
Freedom Trapped
Friendliness Unfriendly
Loyalty Disloyalty
Kindness Unkind
Warmness Coldness
Genuinenes Ungenuine
Generous Selfish
Polite Rude
Sensitive Unsensitive
Listener Never Listen
Compassion Unpassionate
Adventurous/Risk Taker Unadventurous/very careful
Honest Dishonest
Truth Lies
Broadminded Narrowminded
Decent Indecent
High Moral Standards No Morals
Soft Tender Hard
Thoughtful Thoughtless
Worldly Ignorant
Understanding Arrogance
Forgiving Revengeful
Shrugs things off Rancour
Caring Spiteful or uncaring
Positive Negative
Organised Unorganised
Clean Dirty
Tidy Untidy
Action Inaction
Motivated Procrastinator
Focused Unfocused
Giver Taker

Just by noting which values and their opposites mean something to you, it’s possible to identify many stressors in your life, how often do these conflicting values stress you and never get resolved? Some therapists, who use energy psychology techniques, will tap themselves daily to free the negative emotional responses they are getting, which is fine as first aid, but how about healing the causes of most emotional stress once and for all?

Another way to understand how these values affect us is to look at a random example from this list. For example let us take ‘Polite and Rude’. Supposing you have a level of politeness that you are comfortable with, and when somebody drops below that level you find them rude. You may well find you feel irritated, angry, sad, ashamed, furious etc. This person may often be rude and upset a number of people including yourself. The rude person may not have that many friends, and often finds himself or herself out of luck with others. Your own level of politeness may well be respected by more people and they will warm to you better; being polite serves a helpful purpose in your life as more people will open to you and be helpful. However, I am sure there will have been times in your life where you were polite and people took advantage of you, they saw you were polite and were less likely to comment negatively on something or say no i don’t like it or someone etc.

I bet at those times when you used your politeness, you probably attracted rudeness. I also bet that in those times, that if you could have been even a bit ruder and said “no” or “I don’t like that” etc, then you would have found you’d been better off somewhat, in a stronger or better position. I am also betting that the rude person could have found – at times – in their life that their rudeness has been a disadvantage and within those times, if he or she could have been a bit politer, then they would have been in a stronger or better position. Applying this logic to your value conflicts is a small start in understanding the freedom, choice, and flexibility that Reflective Repatterning can give you as it clears Head Trash and helps create more Neutrality.

Diagnosing opposites in self from parents and guardians

For the sake of brevity and not repeating myself, when I use the word parents, I also intend for it to guardians of your childhood, if that’s appropriate.
A full diagnosis of the parent/child pattern often takes several hours to diagnose and maybe a two hour session as a minimum to treat with RR. However, this list may just give you some basic further ideas.
[I have put the list into a table, does it look right? Wasn’;t sure about some of the headers]
Parent Self Seeks (from others) Attracts (those that seek)
No Dad Very lowered reserve or tank of Male energy Strongly male energy Female energy
Semi Absent Dad Low Male energy Male energy Female energy
Full-time Dad Excess In Male Energy Slightly more female energy Slightly more male energy
Slightly feminine Dad A little low in male energy (particularly depends on Mum) Male energy Female energy
Very feminine Dad Very low In male energy Strongish male energy Strongish Female energy
Negative dad Excess male negative energy Positive male energy Weak Male energy
Positive dad Excess positive male energy More negative male energy Positive male energy
Strong dad Excess strong male Weaker male energy Strong male energy
Weak dad Excess weak male energy Stronger male energy Weak male energy
No mum Lowered tank of female energy Strongly female energy Strong male energy
Semi-absent Mum Low female energy Female energy Male energy
Full-time Mum Excess in female energy Slightly more male energy Slightly more female energy
Slightly masculine Mum A little low in feminine energy Slightly more feminine energy Male energy
Very masculine Mum Very low in feminine energy More strongly female energy Strong male energy
Negative mum Excess female negative energy Positive female energy Negative female energy
Positive mum Excess female positive energy More negative female energy Positive female energy

There are many other factors to take into consideration, and these then have to be balanced from, and between, Mum and Dad to find out what the overall combined energy from parents are in order to diagnose the energetic pull of the child. Also let’s have a look at what Self, Seeks and Attract means.

Let’s take the very first in the list as an example, perhaps an example of a man with no Dad. In Self, he has a lowered ‘tank’, or reserve, of male energy. He seeks friends who have an excess of male energy and will keep good friends with this energy and treasure them. If he loses them, or they go away, his reserves lower again. So he has a need for male energy, and he might possibly keep strongly male work in mind or be a fan of it. So, he seeks male energy and when he tops up his tank, he likes to give out and show this energy as he had not been able to before, not having a Dad as a role model. The problem is that as he is giving this energy out he will attract female energy (remember opposites attract) especially early on in his life. If he absorbs lots of male energies this pattern will start to reverse.
So to recap, what is happening is a complex of rebalancing opposites. If you have little of a particular energy, then you will seek people who have that energy so that you can give it out. This then makes you attract the opposite who want that energy you have taken from others and are giving out ie they will seek you.

As you can imagine, from this we can diagnose more extremes of behaviour like intense jealousy, stalking, real neediness, those that isolate themselves or have to be with people. I also believe that these excesses and voids run our lives, friendships, relationships, and even have an influence – along with other factors – on imprinting. Imprinting is a natural form of hardwiring certain behaviours, found throughout nature in the animal kingdom, and includes social and sexual preferences. Of course, I will leave that open for the Scientists and Behaviourists to explore as this is not my field just like I am not a mathematician.

Any belief behaviour and or action also attracts opposites.

For a more complete analysis in how someone’s life is being run, what they are Repelling away from them, and what they are attracting, we need to further diagnose and then also treat, their beliefs, behaviours, and actions. In doing this, and also identifying their parental pulls and value preferences, we can build up a very, very detailed analysis of someone, and an incredible life changing set of Reflective Repatterning Treatments can clear the way to more freedom choice and flexibility, with a balance of neutrality and polarity. We can further enhance this in balancing astrological patterns, and with the help of a professional astrologer even more can be balanced and healed. For the majority of us though, that can be more than we’re wanting to do, so there is the old favourite of mine, that I say to those that want to change everything, “Crumbs, how dissatisfied are you then with your life?”. Then that is what I heal first and then any resistance to being satisfied with your lot whatever it is. Sometimes, if we can just be satisfied, it’s a whole lot easier and for some, they have no wanting to be satisfied with aspects of their life that are very negatively impacting. Remember, all of my work is about personal freedom, choice, and flexibility and is never to be used by someone on another because they think they know what is best for the other perso
Anything good, or a love of anyone or anything is very much a signal for healing.
Psychologists, therapists, leaders (??) and healers have put way too much emphasis on “what is bad needs to be healed”. The huge campaign that began in the 1970s, that grew and grew about positive thinking, developed the belief that anything negative was bad. Well, it’s time we blew that belief apart. Negative thinking saves lives every day for all of us, it saves us money, it prevents danger and disease. For example, I want to feel negative about others or myself wandering too near the edge of a cliff. I want to feel negative about eating a diseased untreated rabbit. I want to feel negative about marrying a serial killer or an aggressive person. I want to feel negative having unprotected sex with someone who has sexually transmitted diseases. I want to feel negative about eating foods with artificial flavourings, colourings etc. However, I don’t want to feel negative about romance with a decent person. I don’t want to be negative about investing in a great business opportunity, or having a comfortable place to stay.

Okay, I think you’ve understood that, so what about the good stuff? Of course, it follows that I want to feel positive about positive things, and negative about negative things in general, though of course this will be open to mistakes.

So, Love is so good that ‘they’ say you shouldn’t heal it, [you should? ]embrace it, [you should? ]take more of it – BANG! EXPLOSION! THAT’S WRONG. So what is being in love with somebody or something? It means when we don’t have it we feel bad, sad, alone etc, and this is because we love what we need. Ask anybody what is it they love about their partner the most, and we will list within that person hurtful voids of that characteristic and or opposites [in them or us?].
For example, just yesterday, I was working with someone who said she really loved her husband’s honesty. She had a void of honesty in her life and was bought up with bucket loads of dishonesty and she was needing his male honesty energies. Without it she sank, the friends she would seek would have that value in bucket loads, and oh boy did she need them, as she attracted loads of dishonest people into her life. These people often even drove her to be dishonest, which of course made her hate dishonesty even more, and therefore she needed honesty even more. Her husband was also very masculine and negative, her father was often absent but when he was there was fairly feminine; he was also quite dishonest and her mother very feminine. So, we can see the needs of this woman to be with her husband, and why it was hurting so much that she was part way through a divorce. When we treated this – by balancing her masculine and feminine energies, and her values about honesty and dishonesty – her need, and therefore her love for her husband, diminished enough to make the divorce easier and nearer to free flowing.
Being ill throughout my childhood often restricted me to the bedroom as a kid, and of course I felt trapped, hence my love for freedom. As my health improved, I travelled in excess many times around the world, travelling was my first love but it signalled being trapped. A friend of mine is particularly attracted to intelligent women, and although he is very intelligent in a practical way in engineering and building, he does not see himself as intelligent with words and academia. Therefore, he loves intelligent women to fill that void.

Okay, so let’s talk about the other love: Unconditional Love, that many will call Neutrality. If we have full neutrality or unconditional love, it does not stem from a need or a want. Unconditional love allows a partner to do, be, and change in any fashion. Now, of course, I haven’t met anyone yet that has that fully [has what ?], however we all know couples that have more freedom, choice, and flexibility in their relationships than others, and we all know the couples that have a possessive jealous controlling partner.

Whatever we love, want, or need is a signal for healing, just as much as whatever we hate, dislike, don’t want or need is. However, what we love, want and need does not get the attention for healing that it deserves throwing us all out of balance.

Why We Shouldn’t Deny Our Bad Side.
We all have a bad side. As explained earlier, it helps us in times of deep stress and danger to overcome obstacles, it helps us survive. Far too often, we are taught that our bad side is very bad, and we musn’t show it. We begin, and remain, feeling bad about being bad, which of course makes us bad. This emotional distress becomes real stress, which remains unresolved in the majority of us, and builds into anxieties like over eating, addictions, bad sleep, tics and even panic attacks. This leads us to feel depressed, or levels of depression, like just old plain feeling down. This is true of any emotional conflicts including the earlier presented value and belief conflicts.

Some Different Levels Of Our Bad Side.
The Naughty Part, ie the things we might do when high or drunk, that are very, very funny at the time, but perhaps we wouldn’t do when sober. I once awoke after an all-night party and looked out of my bedroom window in horror to find a set of twelve garden statues of the Flintstones that I had put on top of my neighbours one week old glass conservatory, and I hadn’t even met them yet. I had climbed up perhaps twelve times thinking that it was the funniest joke ever. Now, I had to explain myself or quietly move them. We so, so often want to be less serious and just have a laugh but we don’t let ourselves – we deny that part. You see, we are all trained and brainwashed to be oh-so-serious and sensible. Is life supposed to be fun, or is it all supposed to be serious like the next economic downturn, and whatever crisis has just happened somewhere in the news. You see, the more serious people are, then the more it spreads – just like a smile and a yawn or a giggle can be contagious, I am afraid, so is seriousness.

Establishment loves seriousness – it is a way to divide and conquer. So often, I have thought what a fun life they all live in the children’s fictional programme, Toy Town. “Seriously” serious seriousness is seriously serious even about itself, which is seriously hilarious to me. Now when I do something naughty when absolutely sober, I treat my own inhibition to other peoples seriousness to what I’ve done. You see if they are seriously pissed off, then it’s them that is seriously pissed off and therefore they have the problem. Now, depending how naughty we want to get will depend on which situations you choose to neutralise the seriousness of with RR. You may decide that wars, funerals, and hurricanes should be serious but grumpy people shouldn’t be a reason for seriousness. The one thing I can assure you of, as you begin to apply the laws of opposites within RR to neutralise and take more balance between naughtiness and seriousness, is it will never be able to compromise your in-built hard wired survival mechanisms.

For instance, I was once very, very phobic of snakes and would freeze on the spot and shake and go all tense – a far too serious reaction. However, on healing this, I came across a Black Swamp Taipan, which I nearly trod on. It was cornered by me and my foot. This snake is incredibly deadly, and it was breeding season at the time and it reared up to bite me. Well, I did not freeze on the spot, neither did I kiss I and cuddle it. I reckon I have the world record for jumping backwards 30 feet in the air and thirty feet back. I landed calmly with a smile on my face, whilst my best friend was running like a cheetah. Now that I had saved my life by not freezing on the spot, and was now in absolute safety, having shocked the snake by my world record jump, then why in the hell should I have stressed myself by being serious? I picked up a bit of rope and threw it at my friend shouting “snake”, and he broke the record as the fastest moving thing on the planet.

The rude, [part] straight to the point blunt part.
So, you don’t like someone and you pretend that you do, just to keep the peace with someone else. Then you end up spending time with this person you don’t like, the person who is always annoying you, causing upset, and or frustration etc. You are therefore never at your best; in fact, you are actually dragging down the person you wanted to please. This will be upsetting to you too, and meanwhile the person you don’t like is getting away with being an absolute idiot, even more so as you are letting them. In fact, their behaviours or values that you dislike and attract, become even more dominant and therefore the behaviours and values that are opposite to those that you do like, you like more and more so the rift between the two of you becomes bigger and bigger, making it even harder to remain nice. This will often lead you to become introverted, perhaps even grumpy, tetchy for a while, perhaps you will be upsetting the very people you love and care for the most. The person you dislike may well enjoy the fact that you are beginning to make a prat of yourself, this will hurt even more.
Now, if this goes on long term, then you will suffer long term stress, perhaps leading to anxiety, levels of depression and feeling down. Of course, this has already impacted on your health and the pharmaceutical companies will be rubbing their hands in glee at the thought of you having prescription drugs for acid indigestion, stress, anxiety, headaches and the whole array of respiratory, cardiovascular problems etc that go with this type of stress. Your friends and loved ones will be damaged too, maybe even your relationship is on the rocks – OUCH!

Instead, if we only accepted our outright, blatantly blunt extroverted rude part, and said right at the beginning “don’t do or talk or behave in that way again, you fucked up slug of a human being”, the long term stress would be over. Either you would not see that person ever again, which would be a huge relief (and you could spend more time with people you do like, love, and need), or that person would change somewhat and then the problem is over. Okay, so in the short term you may piss off a few others who may be close to the unlikeable person, but if they are really close, good friends, and/or they love you, they should understand that staying friends with an obnoxious person is just not good for your health, and if they don’t accept your behaviour, well, the chances are the relationship would – at best – have been in the future. [what in the fututure? Gone wrong in the future? How about “likely to have gone wrong in the future, anyway”?]

You see, we are brainwashed into acting in the the nice, good mannered, polite ways of society, and to do what is expected of us, and this in the long term damages our health and inevitably lead to an explosion of upset when we can’t take anymore. Years of being nice to idiots around us, just to please someone else who selfishly wants you to compromise your energy and power in this stressful way. A neutralising of polite, introverted, nice-ness and kindness and the blatantly rude, assertive part, gives you the power to unleash yourself in whatever way suits you best at that moment. Do remember that, if you short term upset someone to long term please you, it is them that has gotten upset, and they are responsible for feeling the way they do about what you said or did. If they don’t like it, it is entirely their responsibility to heal it or change it within themselves. Now, of course, if you go way too far then they may choose some external help like punching the shit out of you, or calling the police etc. This is why it is so important to balance and neutralise these extreme opposite polarities.

The really Bad part Or Monster Within You.
Okay, the more controversial part of this is the part that many readers, and of course, wonderful critics of this work, may want to deny they have this really ‘bad’ side, or ‘monster’ within them. However, for a moment don’t deny, just remain open. Yes, we have a really bad part; some of us will show elements of it, some will try and hold it in with all their might. Some will absolutely just deny it, and pretend to always have super nice thoughts and feelings, and yet at times will go quietly introverted whilst they have sheer violent or aggressive or – depending on values, morals etc – even evil, bad thoughts. Yes, at times, we have all thought I want to strangle him/her or punch their lights out, or let the mother fuckers burn in hell etc. We then try and calm ourselves down, and dismiss these thoughts, deny them, bury our heads in the sand, perhaps not take any action at all, because we don’t want to access our bad side, because we have all been taught that bad is bad and even evil perhaps. Some have been told these are thoughts tempted by the devil him/herself. Well, sorry to EXPLODE THE BOMB AGAIN!
BUT, denying them, burying our head in the sand, and not taking action on things makes us feel worse, and it lets others off the hook. Meanwhile, we still have the problem and our shit, negative emotional states, our stress, anger and rage states, are building and storing in our organs, muscles, skeleton and cells of our body and doing us harm – we will explode at some point. Why deny this, why feel bad about feeling bad, these are natural responses built within us by whatever created us: Nature, God, Buddha, Mickey Mouse, the Universe etc. If we weren’t supposed to have, them then why in the hell did they give them to us. The bad side is often our nuclear survival and protection mechanism. If you want to go strangle someone, then my view is say to yourself “ok, I accept this thought, I will now treat how much I want to strangle him, and then I will treat how much I want to hug him and thank him”.

You see, treating both opposites is a way of neutralising. You will find a balance, which probably won’t be hugging and thanking but won’t be strangling either- perhaps somewhere in between like “fuck off you slug of a human being!”. Now that you have expressed yourself in this way, you will feel better in the long run, as you have just ended a relationship or something that was disastrous for you. So tell me is this bad, really bad or can it sometimes be good? If someone was wielding a knife at you, with the intention to end your life or your family’s, you don’t want to be introverted or freezing on the spot. You want freedom, choice, and flexibility in the ways that you can defend or scatter yourself and your family. Holding in your monster and denying it is the real evil that the good people cause us. You see, out of good comes bad/evil and out of evil comes good, love etc. Remember: people that love love, hate hate. This means that their so called love comes from hate. You see, everything that is an opposite has an opposite and the opposite of opposite is the same.

World War Two had a lot of evil, but eventually it bought a Europe of Nations that traded with each other and vowed not to war again, ending thousands of years of death, slaughter and destruction. Yet, out of this coming together that may be looked on as good, of course bad things came out of that too: things like too much single government, too little democracy, higher taxes, no budget controls – that is, nobody has approved where the money goes for fifteen years or so. It takes a big bad to make a good good, and eventually, as these opposites start to neutralise the big bads and big goods became less big and therefore the polarities get smaller. However, this then gives rise to other bigger polarities, possibly like more natural destruction, with which some biggies will come about, and then the people will start looking after the environment better, but from this there will be some bad stuff which will inevitably lead to more good stuff and so forth. You will note this is already happening.

Strength Versus Weakness

[mixed tenses, have changed themto past]
I was working with a woman who wanted her man to be very masculine and particularly strong (interestingly, she links the two together). She liked strength in people, and she wanted them to know what they want to be, who they are, and to take control etc. However, she was attracted to a strong person because she had received a lot of weak energies from her parents so this meant she has an excess of weakness, so she needed strong people around her to act strong so she that could take and use their energy to be strong and she did do this. However, she was in a difficult position when her partner did not act that way because she had no energy to be strong. In fact, because she had an excess of weak energy and wanted strength, she attracted people who acted weak but who are in fact strong. Her interpretation of strength was misconstrued as being an opposite of her parents’ weakness.

The funny thing is, people who act and show outwardly as strong, are in most cases not strong, as on the inside they are weak – it is just a portrayal. Those that act weak are most often strong. We have all seen the person who acts tough, pretends to be strong and hard; this is so, so, so often because they are terrified, just like a small dog acting ten times its size. It’s a protective thing and we have all seen the gentle giants. The analogy [is analogy the right word??] here is that the lady who liked strength, liked someone to show strength was caught out by the paradox that those that need to show their strength are mostly weak, and those that need to show their weakness are mostly strong. Hence the woman who loved strength needed to heal her resistance to loving weakness and her hate for weakness. She also needs to balance this with healing her resistance to hating strength and healing her excess love for strength. What will then occur, is that she will less want – and need – to act strong herself, and will have less need for others to act strong, so she will be stronger with her weakness and will be happier with other peoples weaknesses.

[this bit seems out of place?]
Reflective Repatterning How It Clears Your Head Trash (Polarities).

Head Trash (also see the website www.headtrash.co.uk) is all of the jumbled up negative thoughts and feelings that you have going on in your mind, such as internal chatter that is negative and not supporting you or your goals. We all have Head Trash. Headtrash includes images, memories and these may include visuals, sounds, even taste, smell and of course unwanted negative feelings. What others might call ‘the Black Dog’ or inner gremlins, we just call Head Trash. So, if you have somewhat followed so far, this Head Trash is all about personal conflicts. Conflicts either with yourself, others, things, events, or a combination of all of these. These conflicts are polarities, which can be neutralised to create Head Space. When we have Head Space, then we can sleep, heal, think, relax, focus, be motivated, creative etc. There are many treatments that can help us create Head Space, things like good breathing, nutrition, nutritional supplements, mind, and body treatments brain entrainment etc – some of these will work well with limited causes. However, I have designed a treatment – the only treatment I am aware of – that actually heals these opposite polarities and restores neutrality. The treatment is called Reflective Repatterning (RR).

RR is a form of energy healing that uses the body circuitry of energy that acupuncturists use. This is called the meridian system, and can be thought of as invisible wiring in the body, proven to have an energy run through it that revitalises mind and body. However, instead of using needles, we hold the TAT position; this TAT position uses the entire energy system of all 14 major meridian lines. Using this TAT position whilst thinking of an issue allows us to filter and neutralise emotion (energy in motion). The TAT position also helps us hold energy points for the visual centre of the brain, as well as the pituitary gland in the brain. This gives the person holding the TAT position access to deeper unconscious memories and thoughts and enables the mind and body to not only neutralise negative emotional states, but also to remove the negative emotions from thoughts and memories and file them away so they are not constantly bombarding your head. This system not only rids the head trash, but files away stuff that is not trash, but you just don’t want to keep looking at; rather like having files in an A to Z order and folded neatly away in draws.

So why then is RR at least eighteen times more powerful and more effective than any other successful mind treatment, including TAT, the tapping therapies like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, TFT (Thought Field Therapy), NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Hypnotherapy EMDR (Eye movement Desentisation), counselling, psycotherapy to name but a few? Well, all of these treatments accepted the belief that reducing the negative thought and feeling and reaction to something bad was the ideal way for someone to feel better. Well, of course, that was not a bad start at all, but TFT and NLP were really the only reliable treatments that could do this and these were only born in the 1970s. EFT followed some years later etc.

So, the founder of modern day energy psychology – the great Dr Roger Callahan – started to actually help millions, people who psychologists couldn’t help, with his great TFT. I trained personally with Dr Callahan and still use TFT from time to time, but within the RR premises of opposites not in the old ways. However, quite a number of people were not getting better with anxieties and health issues, and they were advised to avoid certain substances that could undo some of the more delicate treatments. I wondered why some of these treatments could so easily revert and why if a person was so, so sensitive to a product that it could tip the balance.
Well it’s like the see saw; if we only deal with one end, the opposite end ie the opposite of the problem will weigh them down as it has a huge magnetic pull. So, RR actually treats the negative aspects of a problem like Dr Callahan’s and Dr Richard Bandler’s and Professor John Grinder’s of NLP [? Not sure this reads right]. However, it also treats the resistance to positively accepting the problem as if it has merits; it is this part that has most often the hugest amount of negative emotional energy trapped inside the client. NLP, TFT, EFT, hypnotherapy, emdr, counselling, psychotherapy etc, only try to treat just the negativity of the issue that the client holds within themselves.

RR Example Depression and clients opposite of depression: ‘happiness’.

Depression treatment [ I don’t know enough to know what should be in this table]
Within client self Of others having depressing others others depressing a paradox of the entire mind association of the problem
positive and negative negative and negative and positive negative and positive aspects
Happiness WITHIN CLIENT self of others being happy making others happy others making client happy a paradox of the entire mind association of the problem
positive excess and egative aspect pos excess&neg resistance pos excess neg resistance pos excess & neg resistance

We can see from the above table that, even if other treatments ie mine [???] therapies have worked even if they have fully worked they will only full y work on one of the eighteen parts of the issue that are covered in RR,
RR will not only treat eighteen times more than any other therapy and heal each part on a far deeper level, it will also treat the therapist and has knock on good effects with anybody involved in the issue on an energetic level. RR has 29 other frameworks over and above the basic underlying framework that is represented by the table above. I worked solidly, night and day, for three months working with clients other therapists could not fix when researching RR. I only struggled with one where we made some improvement, and we needed to proceed with some physical bodywork to obtain further results.

I can also say that I can prove with any client, anywhere in the world, that has had another treatment that they believe was successful, that their mind and body has a lot more of that issue they are holding them beneath the surface. It is a bit like this: successful treatments treat a small part of the iceberg that is shown above the water. The vast majority of the iceberg is under water. RR does top and bottom. (Actually an iceberg is aprox one third above water and two thirds underneath; RR does eighteen parts to one part of other treatments).

Self Sabotaging

All self sabotaging has a good intention, you may have a goal that you really desire but your inner voice may say your not good enough or your emotional self may give you butterflies in your tummy or heaviness in your chest or throat or stomach, or even make you feel sick. Your mind may give you negative memories anything to stop you achieving or even trying for your goal. The intentions may be to save face in case you fail, or maybe you felt crap failing before. it maybe to protect you, because there is a danger or financial risk or fear of rejection and so forth. You see again its all about opposites: you want to do something and part of you doesn’t. RR takes the laws of opposites into consideration and does not attempt to go against them but work with them.

RR diagnoses all the self sabotaging and then treats it all within a funway with very deep complex structures made easily into a game played with your RR practitioner. [ I think this needs rewriting but not quite sureif I understand how yo’d want to put it] . Self-sabotaging is so important. We have all sabotaged something we knew was not right for us, so don’t ever mess with that, and we have all self-sabotaged something that was right for us – why on earth do we want to do that? RR ends all self-sabotaging of positive goals and encourages self sabotaging of bad goals. RR will most often change the goal to something even better – it just happens. [ not sure about this bit? ‘so don’t ever mess with that’]

Beliefs
People have many limiting beliefs, such as that people don’t like them, or that they are not good enough, too ugly, not skilled, that they are unlucky, will always be poor, that others deserve better and so forth. Yet there is always an opposite belief they would rather have. Of course, having a belief that you’re too ugly, when you are average looking may stop you making a fool of yourself in a Miss World or Mr Universe competition, but may also prevent you having that romance you were thinking of. You see again, that it’s all about neutralising opposites – any belief can be disempowered, allowing new beliefs to emerge, when combing laws of opposites with RR.
RR is the number one choice for changing beliefs. I have studied many belief changing strategies and have a wide knowledge of them and may well apply aspects of these methods within RR, but essentially to work with a belief, you need to also change the opposite of the belief (which in fact is still a belief). For instance a limiting belief can be to still believe in Father Christmas in your 40’s and be disappointed he didnt eat your mince pies. To believe in Father Christmas, you must therefore believe that you don’t believe there isn’t one. It’s all about polarity, don’t ever allow some psychologist to help you with one aspect of your problem without dealing with its opposite as he will in the long term just make you worse, and you will end up blaming yourself and keep going back and paying him his endless high fees because you think that you’re crazy. That alone is a belief, but what if your psychologist was crazy, ie they didn’t know a thing about opposites; well it’s my belief but you would probably be right that they don’t.

Overwhelmed, or worried what other people are thinking, how does the laws of opposites and RR help.
Many people get overwhelmed with the amount they have to do – it’s a program inside their head either showing images, running commentary or listing all there is to do over and over again, so that it becomes your only focus, and you become overstressed and anxious about it. Well of course, the opposite of that would be to have a completely empty head and you wouldn’t have the first clue about what you have to do, let alone in what order, when and where. So the overwhelmed strategy attempts to keep you on track with what you need to do, and the empty head strategy is great for that 20 minute Buddhist meditation. However, the overwhelmed strategy is no good for love making, family events, socialising, digestion, sleeping, health and it’s actually not good for all that you have to do, as it prevents space to think outside of the box. The empty head is also no good for love making considering friends and family etc, we need some focus to be sensitive to our special relatinships. Reflective Repatterning takes these opposites and makes use of them neutralising either being in one or the other finding a great mid ground where we can dip into what we need.
Worrying what other people are thinking brings many people to their knees – “oh, I can’t say that, they will think I’m bad,a slut, rude etc”. Or, if I stood up for myself they might think I’m selfish etc, On the other hand, people who do not consider what others are thinking at all are likely to not be good in relationships, have few friends and will miss out at work great connections and sales as they will appear very insensitive, rude, or ignorant even. People dip into either polarity at the wrong times, and many stick to just one polarity or the other. The trick is to occupy the middle ground, where you are neither constantly worrying what others are saying nor thinking, nor are you completely aloof. From this position, you have the ability to be concerned what others may be thinking if it might help you or those closest to you, or you can also choose not to give a damn what others say and do when you need to do something for yourself and or family, friends etc.

The above is just some of the regular day to day things that RR treats by respecting and being guided by the laws of opposites.
Opposites: what’s the limit? Where do I stop?
My suggestion is to heal what restricts you where you personally feel that you want more freedom, choice and flexibility. Remember that this is a Revolutionary Road (RR) and that whatever you change will have significant impacts on you and those you connect with. Consider if you change something, how this might impact yourself and your loved ones. I remember treating a lady who had gotten herself sick. She ran her family like an army regiment, for some very good personal reasons. However, it had impacted her health as her family were so dependent on her for everything whilst her husband was working abroad. Over the phone, we balanced taking action versus no action. The next day I received an email saying she broke down crying and didn’t take action with a family member over something, and that she hated RR and opposites. The next thing I heard was that she was on a flight to her husband, sold the house and moved abroad. Her family then had to learn how to take action themselves and learn to look after themselves, and the lady began to live her life and regained her health.
So the first few days can be an incredible journey that will have major repercussions. An RR practitioner can guide you and help you with transitions, but if you choose this Revolutionary Road then things will be different. Where then do we stop? Well, I guess a good place is to stop when you’re having fun, enjoying life, and living to your personal full [full?? Vs “and living life how you want to”?]. This Revolutionary Road of massive change has tricks en- route; I’ve learnt that if you change loads and loads, then all goes brilliantly well for a long time and then the universe tends to throw some newer and bigger challenges your way. This is because you have become more neutral in many things – remember that the opposite of neutral is polarity, so we can become like a black hole, attracting more polarities. Well, I leant to treat and heal these big polarity challenges and so they slowed down somewhat

My hero in the psychological world, Richard Bandler, used to drum into everybody in his seminars “If it ain’t working do something different”, This is definitely worth considering in any field, unless of course you want the opposite of it not to work then of course carry on [is this right?]. So I changed loads in my life, everything that I felt I needed to, but also as I am the founder, developer, and discoverer of this magic, I guess it was good to do so. I worked on everything I could think of: the news, religion, politics, family, my gender, my sexuality, my values, friends, work, my world, the big world, the planets. Because of this I look at everything with new perspectives. I also had huge health gains doing this work. [I’m not sure if this reads better than the old one but the old one didn’t flow as well]

Now, let me tell you about a great man I used to know, who was named Stan, Stan had asthma and at the age of 14, he left school and went to work for my grandfather in his bicycle, radio, electrical shop. Stan wore the same coat, rode the same bicycle, lived in the same house, and went for one weeks holiday in Hayling Island his whole life. He always had the same haircut, and he always had a cheese sandwich for lunch, which he always ate in the same place. [I think when you spoke to me you told me about stan and his sandwich etc?] Everything always appeared the same, and I used to internally tear myself apart that Stan – now in his 70’s – was still there, doing the same thing and he never did anything else. I would travel, start businesses, and constantly behave and act in different ways. I was forever changing things. RR taught me something: that Stan didn’t need to do anything else as Stan was happy.

I was rushing around everywhere, reinventing everything because I wasn’t happy with it or myself. I am not saying that Stan wouldn’t have had things to RR but my guess is that I had a whole lot more. If you’re happy then keep these laws of opposites as a first aid for life just at hand. Maybe just dabble with it for the little changes you may find helpful, or just as I say keep it on standby. However, if your life is like a roundabout and you can’t get off, and you have lost the ability to find a direction, a goal, a life, whatever it is, then there is a very Revolutionary Road that can magically appear. So what if I start this process, where does it all end? , I travelled across the States from San Francisco to Key West with friends. We were all escaping from our lives and ourselves, and we all chose different places to stop. We all discovered something about each other’s lives and that of our own.

When the six week trip was over, and I awoke in my bed the following day after the flight, it was a bit like The Wizard Of Oz. I had hoped to find something externally – in fact all three of us did, yet we realised we already had it. My realisation [would revelation be better?]was that to please others, I needed to be happy myself. My pal’s realisation was to appreciate the family he had, rather than focus on the members of his family that were missing. My other great friend realised that where she lived was her real paradise, and seeing some of the world helped her recognise it.

The Revolutionary Road of RR and opposites is sometimes an internal journey that appears to change the outside world, and sometimes it’s an external journey that changes the internal world, but whichever it is, and it’s often both, it will have aspects of the opposite of the same world you lived in and opposites of opposites which means aspects of sameness. It’s your journey. Sometimes the bus will appear without brakes on a downhill run, and other times it will stop at the view, and at other times it will chug along and not stop. If you don’t like it change it, if you like it stay with it.

If You Want Someone Else To Change Or Heal.
RR has a very powerful, magical quality to it but you must, must understand it and apply it, for it to work. If you have an issue with someone – maybe you are very upset with them even extremely upset in a rage even – you can shout all you like, but you probably won’t change them or the situation. Most often in fact, it makes matters worse. However, what if they are 100% guilty, and they did something 100% bad? Surely you must teach them a lesson or punish them? No. If you want someone else to change, or you want to change an event, then you must change yourself.
In my initial research of RR, I had six mums who had terrible problems with their children. Some had had no contact with them in over a year, and didn’t even see their grandchildren, either. These mums demanded I treat their kids, and in all cases I refused. I stated that they needed to be treated to solve the problems. Two of them even swore at me, but again I refused to budge. In each case we treated the Mum’s issues with their kids – some of whom had done horrid things to the Mums. In each case, all six mothers, within 48 hours of treatment, had their kids either call them, knock at the door, or send flowers. This was done even though the kids had no prior contact (two even lived abroad) and did know about the treatment.
When we change a polarity at one end, then the opposite polarity is no longer charged with the same intensity. With this in mind, I set up a whole host of experiments with workplaces, hospitals, pets, people, relationships, hostilities etc. I have never failed yet in making a change with someone, or something, that someone has had a problem with by healing that someone only. No, this is not witchcraft, its just a magical part of energy – especially magnetic energy. if we changed the moon and cut it in half, or threw it away, it would of course change our tides, and for those that know, our behaviours and a whole lot more.

It’s simple: if you want to change someone or something, then it is your very want for them or it to change that helps keep them or it in place. We want to change something or someone, often when it hurts us to see or feel them or act In a certain way, that needs to change [????]. I have used this procedure with one person to change the behaviour of many, many staff at a work place in one go. I have used this with a lady who was terrified about someone’s medical treatment, adamant that they shouldnt receive it. She was of course magnetically attracting the treatment, and a quick 15 minute adjustment to her polarity, freed the person to be neutral about the procedure, and this immediately changed the patient’s mind and she tore up her agreement.

Every person is responsible for themselves, but in being so will attract many things into their lives, things they may not like, and those things equally attract those persons. Every person on the planet has the right to change something within themselves, and when doing so will make a change elsewhere, often like a huge chain of events. So yes, we do have the right to heal and change others, because what we are really doing is healing ourselves. Will the other person always get well? Aha well, that depends on who else has attracted them and who they are attracting in their lives too. However, whatever you heal within yourself will affect how others’ magnetic poles repel and attract to and from you.

So Should I leave All This Hocus-pocus Alone? Is it Evil or Bad or Loving and Good?

I would say that this is an individual choice. if it makes you feel bad, then you can deny it, avoid it, run from it, or simply heal the bad you feel about it. Whether your beliefs are of God, Buddha, Mother Nature, Universe etc, remember that whatever it was – if anything – that created us, also created us with opposites too. We have evil, sure and we have its opposite good too, and for those that have found evil they soon looked for its opposite [???]. Many have found they thought they were doing good, but were doing bad, but the good thing is we can heal bad.
If the world only had good and nobody ever lied, and one day little ten year old Johnny who was late for school and told a little lie saying he had tied his shoe laces when asked by his Mother, imagine what the world would think of Little Johnny! It would be the first time that a lie had ever been committed, and it would be the worst crime ever and it would be seen as real evil and they would probably hang him. You see, hate and evil will always exist, and we need extreme evil to measure against, otherwise we all become evil.
We don’t want to be punishing someone for a small white lie and that is why we need evil so we can measure good, naughty, bad, very bad, very good, holy evil, etc – without it we are all evil. If the world was all evil, and everybody did wicked things like hurting, stealing, lying and then one day little Johnny told the truth, then that world could not accept Little Johnny as he would be thought of as so good (their equivalent of Evil) that they would have to very severely punish him single and him out. So we need both Evil and Good, those that do Evil serve a purpose on this planet as well as those that do extreme good, of course it can be very hard to except aspects of this (well until you have RR’d it of course).
To further define all this, here are the common analogies “There are no goodies without baddies, no heroes without villains”. [is analogy the right word??]
So should I leave all this hocus-pocus alone? Well, that again is up to you, I am not a leader but I don’t particularly get led either. I am not a ruler or a dictator, all I say is that we can’t help but have already started with all these opposites just by being alive, recognising they are there or burying it all and denying it using it or avoiding it, all I can say is there is good and bad in both, feel free to choose. [is this how you wanted this to read?]

Love you all, hate you all, chris Milbank
Fists and lovehearts.

Examples of Treating Opposites

Example 1
A lady wanted her fear of giving birth taken away, and as we started to clear it, the issue began to entwine with the fact that a friend of hers who gave birth was rubbing it in and almost mocking my client [mocked her about what?,what was she doing]. She really resented the fact that her friend was behaving this way and a lot of emotion was being stored up, so again we cleared this, as we did so it uncovered how bad she would feel having a baby when other women could not get pregnant. We addressed some of these fears however it was now time to look at the opposite. For this reason it would be difficult and odd to hide the fact that she was pregnant or had a child to those that could not have one. So I had the client close her eyes, and imagine being even worse than her friend, and literally showing off her baby to all those that dearly wanted to become pregnant. This of course showed up the strongest, negative emotional charges held within the client, and as we cleared all resistance to this, she stopped crying and actually laughed about the whole thing.
We helped her create some neutrality, so that she will neither she run and hide being pregnant nor will she need to excessively talk and display her baby to those unfortunate enough to not have them. She released a hugely stressed amount of negative emotion, which will allow healing energy to do what it needs to do in her body.

Example 2
This client worked within mental health, and after arriving in this country, became stressed by the way her colleagues were treating their patients. So I helped reduce the anxiety, fear and stress that she had about what was happening, and then we cleared the huge, massive resistance to behaving in the same way as her colleagues and enjoying it. On her return to work, all colleagues were acting and behaving very, very differently, and she was able to be more assertive when necessary. Remember when we change a polarity at one end it affects the other, but when we change it at both ends then the effects are even more profound. If anybody has an issue with anyone or anything, clearing their issue with it and the resistance to loving it, the thing or person will change. Everything is just a reflection of our own personal thoughts and reactions.

We can also clear our issues of another person having an issue and their issue will heal.

I have proven and demonstrated with hundreds of sceptical people that even just the therapist clearing their issue with their client having the issue heals the issue. We can – and should – encourage all healers, therapists and the like to encourage the healing of their client and the opposite the healing of themselves, to heal the client for a quicker, deeper, and far more effective healing than what any person – sceptic or not – can imagine.
Really the answers are all simple so simple we miss them, but being a simple man I like simple things and have found simple answers, which is far simpler than finding difficult answers.

ReflectiveRepatterning(1)

Emotions & Thoughts Are Opposites

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To understand The Reflective Repatterning Laws Of Opposites of thoughts and emotions will be helpful in any Mind Body Spirit Healing. Some people talk of Thoughts they cannot get away from others that are emotional for no reason seemingly.

The Laws of Attraction and those that have read the classic book The Secret, will have learned that we make our own reality, at least most of the time, and that we attract what we are thinking. If we think bad we attract bad, when  we think good we attract good things, and when we think a bit of both we attract a mix of both. Yet they don’t tell you that also at play are the Reflective Repatterning Laws of Opposites. You see emotions are the opposite of thoughts, they react therefore in an opposite way, what we are emotionally needy of we repel ie push away, I expect you may recall some emotionally needy people so needy they push their partners away. You see emotionally we attract what we don’t want. Wherever there is an emotion there is also a thought and vice versa even if hidden. Just like an electrical field has a magnetic field and vice versa they are both there.

Today I worked with a lady who was angry all the time for no reason, she said no thoughts wen t with it, as we lessened the anger in Reflective Repatterning, the overwhelming emotional signal she was sending and receiving calmed and she had space to realise the thought that was creating the anger. Now here is the chicken or the egg bit, which c ame first, it doesn’t really matter, but just know they both exist, so that a deeper healing can take place, heal the emotion and reframe the thought with a solution.

Emotions and stuck or excessive thoughts are signals that action is required, to solve some sort of conflict. The more we ignore the signals the louder and stronger they get so we deal with them. My mentor Miss Mandy Langford, visited a lady in hospital so bad with psoriasis her skin was so raw she was wrapped in  selaphane plastic, clothes could not be worn, the dr’s were at a loss of what to do. Mandy had the lady close her eyes create a light trance and asked her ” who or what are you not listening too”, her unconscious mind bought up a conflict from her childhood that still remained un resolved, her unconscious tried to signal through thought and emotion to resolve this, but she ignored it, so this lady who had been a model developed psoriasis on her hand, her unconscious mind was signalling her thought she would listen at that point, of she didn’t and the psoriasis got worse and worse. Of course the conflict then got resolved and the lady made a full recovery.

Now let’s revisit emotional neediness, do you thin top business people like Trump, and those from the Dragons Den etc, are really emotional about their sales staff, money etc, are they really emotionally needy, no most are absolutely business is business, matter of fact can you do a good job yes or no, whats in it for me etc etc, they have a clear thought of what they want, with good intention, no or little emotion worry etc going on to repel a sale. Yes emotions dramatically harm business when they are needy. They also trigger their opposite magnetic pole to have needy thoughts, we remember we attract what we are thinking. Now I have known many men and women in  business who are great and not emotionally needy in their work, yet in relationships some are, of course when this is the case they so often fail in  the relationships.

The long and short of this all, is that if there is an area in your life you want to improve, lessen the emotional neediness, work and clean your thoughts ideals beliefs value conflicts up , and something dramatically favourable will happen.

I use a number of differing therapies in this field, and Reflective Repatterning RR will lead the way.

If you have any questions feel free to us ethe contact page on this website, and I will reply as soon as I can, you may even get a phone call to alandline or Skype, where I can hear your story and ask questions.

best wishes chris Milbank.

Reflective Repatterning RR

chris Milbank

chris Milbank

Never has any emotional therapy or treatment, I have ever taught, trained in or experienced has been as profound as Reflective Repatterning.

After a period in my life where things all got out of control, my partner being brutally killed in a hate crime, my college business bringing me almost to bankruptcy, losing my home too, I left the UK and arrived in a warmer climate in a sunny island, with 7 euros left in my pocket. I let go of all my ties and positions on boards of therapy associations, and decided I needed something different, I needed to be independent and creative. 

I fought back it was hard but with my Canine best friend who travelled with me we got through, each day i would sit on the rocks splash around with my Trailhound Ben until we were both wet and laughing (yes Doggies can laugh). He would go off crabbng and fishing in the rock pools and I would soul search.

 

I used a hold developed by Tappas Flemming, we call the TAT hold, this hold allows us to plug into the electrical circuitry of the body mind and brain, similar to acupuncture. Although acupuncture uses needles to access certain points one at a time in some or all of the 14 main electrical circuitry points called meridians, the TAT hold uses all the meridians at once. These meridians hold emotional stress, emotion means energy in motion.

 

Each day I would treat something I needed to feel better about, I would spend from 10 to 20 minutes, just to keep myself in check after such huge losses in my life and upheaval to another country, where I needed to start again. One such day came by, and I thought I hate love, so whilst in the TAT hold I kept saying I hate love, all sorts of memories and emotions surfaced, I thought my head had exploded, I the  felt calm. Later that day, I felt not so good, I decided to keep myself busy, I researched on line anxiety left and right brain hemispheres, and found I was mysteriously in a website I had not chosen to be in. It changed my view on some people I thought were bad, I realised they were not so bad as I originally thought, then a Christian website came up and I thought ooh these people are moralistic in a bad way and they are not as good as I thought. During that day a whole load of opposite scenarios was bombarding me. I suddenly realised, I had treated my hatred of love, but not my resistance to loving love. I treated this and felt better than I had in years.

 

This was the followed by weeks of outer body experiences, being taken to dark places, light places, had dreams, I was downloading masses of information, I remembered how as a four year old living with my Aunty, I had heard voices in English I didn’t understand, I realised they were getting me ready for my voyage of adventure, a discovery so profound that would change the way of healing forever in any therapy treatment.

 

At the time freedom was my friend, I loved freedom I used to travel constantly when I had money. Yet why did I love freedom, well it was because I hated being trapped, the more I hated being trapped the more I loved freedom, the m ore I loved freedom the more I hated being trapped. Yes love creates hate, hate creates love. I devised an algorithmic formula of statements and opposites, and paradoxes to use whilst accessing the electrical circuitry of all 14 meridians at once. for the first time I became free in the very shoes I was wearing and no longer felt trapped. I was free. I researched solidly for for initial months with other therapists most difficult clients, and had the most amazing results. We also found that anybody who was stressed by someone or something, that had then  been treated with RR for that someone or something, found not only were they free of the issue, but the someone or something powerfully changed too. RR developed then over the years, over 50 different algorithmic formulas to treat  a range of emotional and psychological problems and behaviors, also an 18,000 word essay on the RR Laws of Opposites that govern our lives, a diagnostic procedure to locate excesses of male and female energies good and bad driving peoples behaviors, stored and received from parent guardians and other influential people in their lives. We even have a method to diagnose and treat self sabotage, we even have RR opposite  movement therapy to loosen up our bodies, and RR can be used in physical therapies too.

RR dramatically changed my life, freed up old rigid beliefs thought patterns behaviors, even my politics and ways of life and business, from having just 7 euros in my pocket to flying 56 times that year, visiting Tanzania Kenya Norway USA Spain UK Ireland Australia and many more places. RR was certainly the path I was chosen for.chris Milbank mechris Milbank mechris Milbank me

 

Here are links to RR introductory training course http://www.solar-events.co.uk/workshops/reflective-repatterning-chris-milbank/   

Also RR Practitioner training  http://www.solar-events.co.uk/workshops/reflective-repatterning-practitioner-training/

 

If you have any questions please fill in the contact form on the contact page, and I will be more than  happy to get back to you.

best wishes chris Milbank

HaRRming To Heal

chris Milbank meWhat we fear the most has the most hold over us, and causes us the most stress when we are connected to it. Many people therefore try and ignore or shut out their worst fears, some cannot and are connected to them for much of the time. We have learned from the Reflective Repatterning Laws of Opposites, that emotionally we attract what we don’t want and push away emotionally what we are emotionally needy of. The Laws  of Opposites tell us that emotional feelings are the opposite of thoughts, and thoughts attract what we are thinking good or bad, if you are thinking good and bad you attract a bit of both. Where there is a thought there is an emotion and vice versa, they are like different ends of a magnet, a north and south pole.

 

Now what we love creates a hate in it’s opposite field, ie if we love honesty we will hate dishonesty, if we love all things good we will hate all things bad, if we love being with our loved ones we will hate losing them. Negative emotions and feelings very powerfully affect our lives. When we tune into our worst nightmares, ie losing a loved one, think of a horrible if even an unlikely scenario, like an accident, or of a horrible way of being tortured executed etc, even for a quarter of a second before shaking our head and ridding the thought therefore the feeling, we have just used a very powerful magnet to attract some bad towards us, maybe enough to give us some bad luck a bad day, week month year etc. All depending on how long we thought about it how much feeling came in and how powerful a thought and feeling it was ie how much do we fear it, does it make us feel bad.

We are all like antennas we also pick up negative and positive vibrations of others, especially if that person thinks of us in a powerful state, when we pick this up we also become broadcasters, of these states if we resonate them and then affect the people we think of or that surround us.

It is very important that we list our worst fears and nightmares however unlikely they are to occur, many of them are lessons we need to learn from earlier in our lives, and also past lives we may have lived and of those from our ancestors that remained unresolved in their life times. Reflective Repatterning may well be the most effective mind emotional treatment there is and I would widely use this therapy, but also there may well be stress very acutely held in a particular meridian and I may use my Fridge Magnet therapy to clear these, and or dowsing of entities,I may use Brain Stare, and even Havening developed by Stephen and Ronald Ruden.

 

Yet there is another way, a very powerful way, that we can surface multitudes of very powerful fears and emotions in people, whether they kn ow what they are or not. We can surface in ourselves huge reserves of negative emotional feelings and thoughts and direct them straight at someone or somebody, and when it is as intense as it can be, we quickly reverse these states in us and use Reflective Repatterning to neutralise them in the person we are working with, this takes great skill and is only used with absolute knowledge of how to do this. Yet what it achieves is a neutralising of that persons specific or even n on specific worst fears and nightmares, and therefore of their own negative pull magnet. Instantly the persons positive attractor starts to react,and peoples lives get so much better.

Please see my original blog http://www.liveonlinechat.org/blogs/4425/38/ha-rrming-to-heal-heal-to-ha-rrm  Only those that have trained in Reflective Repatterning RR can train in HaRRming To Heal which is a five days specialist course, that prepares you in a number of different meridian and brain exercises, before teaching the amazing healing of HaRRming To Heal technique.

Feel free to use the contact page on this website to send email questions.Here is a link to Solar Events who promotes the Reflective Repatterning Trainings. http://www.solar-events.co.uk/workshops/reflective-repatterning-chris-milbank/